Couples counseling has a different approach than individual counseling/therapy. In individual counseling/therapy, the "individual" is the client and the central focus. In couples counseling, the couple's "relationship" is the central focus and, therefore, the "client". The therapist is not there to side with one or the other member of the couple, but rather to assess and work toward the overall "health" and improvement of the relationship.

    Often couples are engaged in a battle to be "right." Often the assumption is "I need to make my point. I need to 'win' the argument, then things will be back on track." Good, creative negotiating generally is not about "winning" but creating an atmosphere where understanding is increased, needs are clarified, patterns are identified, and alternatives are suggested. The place where couples get stuck, and stay stuck, is often the presenting issue. Understanding the patterns and what keeps them going is the deeper concern and where the power to move a couple forward can be reached.

    Call the office number (818) 758-9933 and tell Dr. Alderman that you and your partner are considering couples counseling and discuss any questions, the fees, times that you would both be available and any matters that will help you decide if you want to take the next step and make an appointment. Your partner is free to call ahead and ask questions of his or her own.

    The main components of the initial appointment are as follows. There is a discussion of where each of you feels that your relationship is at the moment and what you would like to accomplish by coming to counseling. There will often be a processing of what you both feel are your relationship's unique strengths, weaknesses, and patterns. Have these elements stayed the same or have they changed over time? How has this influenced the relationship that you have today? This current "snapshot" of the relationship may take in the hopes, fears, and challenges of each of you whether they match or not. While it is not carved in granite, it is useful for the next step - the counseling plan.

    The counseling plan gives the clients and therapist a blueprint from which to proceed. This is a working plan that helps address initial concerns and measures the progress and helps keep all involved focused. Feel free to ask about specifics as they apply to your relationship. Within counseling sessions changes can be made to keep the plan meaningfully current.